SUBDUED DISMAY

Lala J. Thorpe

It was three o’clock in the afternoon, and Takashima Uruha, a young psychiatrist who just jumped out from his silver-grey Land Rover was approached by a female intern nametag ‘Sato’.

“Takashima-sensei, you’re expected by Tamura-sensei in his office within half an hour.”

“Me?”

She nodded. “He is about to finish the forensic report right now. He said it’s urgent.”

“Wakarimashita.”

For a young doctor with a nondescript skill, he was kinda surprised being expected by a senior forensic doctor who was infamous for his stern and stoic feature. Uruha was puzzled with this sudden call as he previously had never been appointed to be in charge Dr Tamura’s patients. After fingerprint check lock and changed into his medical coat, he headed to the Forensic Department.

“Konnichiwa.”

“Ah, konnichiwa. Takashima-sensei, please have a seat.”

“What can I do for you, Sir?”

The older man sighed flipping through his new report sheet. “I want to apologise for asking you to meet me so suddenly. I was just finished examining a patient. A young girl. She was taken to the ER last night by a pedestrian from being unconscious in a small alley nearby. There were fresh bruises all over her body and a trauma on her head. There’s also an indication of sexual assault, a repeated one. My amateur assumption told me that this girl seems to suffer from a Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS). She looked disoriented and scared of her surroundings, even the nurse had to sedate her.”

Uruha was listening attentively. “Okay. So, this girl needs psychological assessment too.”

“Yes. C’mon, let’s take a look at her.”

Both doctors studied the state of her from the ward’s window. She was being treated by a female nurse who tried to feed her lunch but this girl didn’t flinch.

“Name Mizuno Rin, 19 years of age. There found a student ID of Osaka Daigakou in her pocket. The police have tried cross-referencing with the campus database but apparently she’s been absent from classes since two months ago,” explained Dr Tamura.

Uruha was silent without shifting his gaze from her, examining every small gesture.

“I know you’re still young, Takashima-sensei. But you’ve experienced in handling some PTSD patients of physical assault during your internship two years ago. You might want to help her because, god, she’s too young and precious to be hit by this cruel world.”

Both men stood for a few more seconds before Dr Tamura motioned Uruha to come inside.

“Konnichiwa. How are you feeling, Mizuno-san?” greeted Dr Tamura carefully keeping a distance. The girl just nodded with a small sign of fear in her eyes.

“Meet my friend Takashima-sensei. He’ll be in charge of your next treatment.  Don’t worry, he will only be talking to you for the next few days.”

She averted his gaze to Uruha, observed his stance that seemed like too passive to be a specialist.

“Hajimemashite. Takashima Uruha desu. Yoroshiku.”

After some sweet talk, the nurse and Dr Tamura excused themselves to leave them alone.

This girl was fiddling the edge of her blanket when Uruha stayed there. There was a strong indication she might be afraid of a new person in one room with her. Uruha found himself musing on this brief silence before beginning to speak.

“Can I sit here?” asked Uruha softly with his deep voice. She nodded nervously.

“I’m a psychiatrist and will be in charge of you from now on. But first, I need to run an assessment by talking to you. Is that okay?”

“O…okay,” she answered almost inaudibly.

“Alright. Mizuno-san deshou? Can you tell me what you may remember before you were brought here?”

She loosened her grip on the blanket slowly before looking up at the window contemplating. “I—I can’t remember much.”

“Okay. Do you remember where you were yesterday morning? Or the day before?”

She nodded slowly. “I was at my boyfriend’s apartment. Can’t remember the time. We had a big argument.”

“Un. What was your argument about?”

Mizuno was shaking her head whilst shutting her eyes. “He-he was so loud!” She was in sudden panic attack, panted hard, and shivered gradually. “He shouted me telling me I was trash and…and…I couldn’t tell anymore, Sensei.”

“Okay, Mizuno-san. Take your time. Control your breathing.”

Inhale, exhale. Once Mizuno was able to dispose of her wrecking nerves, Uruha spoke again.

“Now I need to conduct a cognitive interview with you. This is a Q&A where I prompt you with questions to remember every small detail which might be transpired in the last few days. If that’s fine with you?”

“Alright. What am I gonna do?”

“You close your eyes, and try to keep focusing what I’m going to say. I won’t rush you, and take your time as much as you need to if it seems to get hard, okay? The visual might be coming back but I’ll be here the whole time so don’t be afraid. If that’s clear enough, we can start now.”

 “Okay.” She began to close her eyes.

Uruha cleared his throat. “Mizuno-san, you were found unconscious by a pedestrian yesterday. Tell me what you can remember prior to it.”

“I was at my boyfriend’s apartment.”

“What is your boyfriend’s name?”

“Matsuda Hikaru.”

“What did you wear at that time?”

“A black sleeveless shirt, covered with a dark brown cardigan. And uh…a long grey skirt.”

Uruha took a note on his pocket notebook.

“Was he there when you arrived?”

“Un. He asked to come. Once he opened the door, he pulled me inside very roughly and…and…”

“What was his apartment like?”

“Eeto…it was very messy. There were empty vodka bottles all over the living-room.”

“Did he say anything to you?”

Mizuno paused and swallowed. Her lips quivered.

“We argued about my fault for—for not serving him enough. In sexual intercourse. And the fact that I still chose to write my papers despite his prohibition to return to campus life, Hikaru was furious. He-he yelled pointing his finger at me…telling me I was a trash and a whore and didn’t deserve his attention.”

Her eyes were brimming with tears. Uruha paused for a moment giving her time to breathe.

“What did he wear?”

“Uhmm…I don’t know. Levi’s trousers, I think? And he’s shirtless and smelt…of alcohol.”

“Okay. What happened afterwards? Or did you hear anything else?”

“He walked to the kitchen and sounded angrier. He returned to me and…and…brought a baseball bat! Sensei, Sensei, he’s gonna hit me!!”

She shouted incredibly loudly trying to reach out anything she could hold.

“It’s okay, I’m here. Take your time, Mizuno-san. Here, hold my hand,” comforted Uruha holding her shaking hands. They waited until Mizuno’s cry subsided before resuming.

“I tried defending myself with an encyclopaedia I left there but I got hit once. But when he didn’t succeed in hitting me, once again I was roughly pushed to the carpet and…he-he raped me, slapped and smacked me over and over as if I were a sand sack. He didn’t stop! Sensei, help me!”

“I’m here, Mizuno-san. Do you want to stop?”

She nodded without releasing his grip.

“Alright. Inhale and exhale, take your time, then open your eyes slowly.”

When Mizuno had calmed down, Uruha ran a short physical exam, checked her blood pressure, and told her to rest and eat although just small portion to optimise her physical treatment. He excused himself to tend to other patients.

“Sensei…” She called him when he almost turned the doorknob.

“Yes?”

“I’m afraid. What if he comes back?”

Uruha paused to stare at her. Kami-sama, she’s so fragile. “I assure you you’re in safe hands here. They won’t let him get to you.”

*

“Mizuno Rin, nineteen, grew up in Hadanokkuraifu orphanage. Got adopted when she’s five but her adoptive parents were killed in a fire when she was fifteen,” explained another psychiatrist with a nametag Shiroyama. He’s the deputy of Psychiatric Department.

“Did they find anything about her boyfriend’s background?”

“Let me see, uhm, Matsuda Hikaru, desho? A dropout from Keio, an alcoholic guy, who was charged from drunk driving in which a cyclist was killed on the spot. He’s been released on parole after his parents paid the penalty. A well-off daddy he’s got there, huh?”

“Anything about security footage?”

“The police are still investigating. What else have you got from the cognitive interview?”

“Apart from the abuse she got that night, nothing more. I wouldn’t push her any longer as she’s still weak from refusing to eat. I plan to give her another interview to prompt her past experience once she’s in better state.”

“Sou sou sou sou,” mumbled Aoi rubbing his chin. “Any signs of suicidal attempts?”

Uruha tilted his head. “Not that I discovered. But I can’t draw a conclusion yet.”

“We should restrict her from visitors. No exception for her own safety. Jyaa, I shall summon you again once they find out about the security camera. In the meantime, the nurses will take turn in looking after her. Given that she’s got no one here.”

“Thank you, senpai.”

*

Uruha came the last when his ‘gang’ gathered for lunch in the cafeteria. The other two psychiatrists, Suzuki Reita and Tanabe Kai, were exposing their signature laugh when Uruha approached them with a tray on his hands. As far back as he could remember, Kai had been handling another patient with an ASD for approximately five months that Kai wasn’t able to join them as frequent.

“There he is,” said Reita when Uruha pulled a chair beside him. “How’s it going?”

“Been dreadful.”

“What happened?” asked Kai.

Uruha tore his karage into two and munched them before answering Kai.

“I’m currently handling a patient with an RTS and the police wanted to involve me for the investigation.”

“I heard she’s a young girl, a sexual abuse victim. Why don’t they conduct an interview to her like they usually do to other victims here?”

“Aoi-san restricts the number of visitors to very minimum as she isn’t up to new people particularly who will probe her. Her blood pressure hasn’t gotten stable the last time I checked, and uh…of course her anxiety is still dominating,” explained Uruha.

“An asshole boyfriend, I reckon? How long did it take for her to trust your presence?” said Kai.

“Since the first time I got to see her, she could talk properly. But she’s been having nightmare and hysterical at night, especially when a closing door was overheard from her ward,” Uruha recalled, still busy swallowing his karage before advancing to his beef katsu. “What about you, Kai? Any progress on your girl?”

Kai shook his head whilst sipping his black coffee. “Not much. Nacchii isn’t up to respond properly. The thing is, next week I’m gonna go to Nagoya for a workshop. So, I might want Reita to substitute me for a while.”

“Sou ka. Ganbatte ne.”

After finishing their lunch, the three doctors went back to their own station. Uruha’s thoughts lingered on Mizuno while he’s heading to her room. She should be napping right now but his thought was negated once Uruha peeked through the wired window, watching this girl silently, but not peacefully, sketch on a piece of paper. Her mouth was slightly open but that’s her eyes that betrayed her. They were dissociating with the joy formed by her hand.

For the first time, Uruha was hit by the reality of how beautiful Mizuno was. Despite the bandaged cut on her arm and the remaining bruises on her face, this girl was exceptionally beautiful. Her hair was brushed neatly and the nurses apparently had put a very light makeup on her.

“Shitsureishimasu.”

Mizuno jerked and abruptly hid the paper beside her as her eyes were widened.

“Se-sensei…?”

Uruha smiled. He could tell that she’d rather anybody didn’t watch her drawing.

“Konnichiwa. Mizuno-san, you seem busy today. I watched you drawing from the outside just now. Do you mind if I take a look at it?”

She lifted her gaze to her for a second before looking down again. Her right hand was busy crumpling the paper beside her before reluctantly handed it to Uruha.

“A bouquet of beautiful roses. Sugoi na,” praised Uruha. But there’s something peculiar about those roses, albeit its beauty. Several petals were scattered on the ground.

“Sore jyaa. Are you up for another cognitive interview? Or do you want the usual one?”

“The…the former.”

It sounded as though she’d rather answer them through a vivid visual from her head than having to string words which was sending her a small frisson of fear.

“Alright. Now close your eyes. You can hold my hand if you want to. Okay, I’m starting now.” Uruha took a deep breath. “Mizuno-san…”

____________________________to be continued____________________________________